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5Jul, 2023
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Should I Stay or Should I Go?

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The above title is from a Clash song about one’s indecisiveness in breaking off a bad relationship.  He knows that if he leaves there will be trouble but the decision to stay would be even worse.  Nonetheless, the songwriter notes that it is up to the partner (who appears to be controlling the relationship) to make the decision in spite of the troubles they are having. I have counseled individuals who have been or are currently caught up in an unhealthy relationship.  These relationships include married, engaged, uncommitted couples and […]
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6Sep, 2018
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Marital Communication – Part 5

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Love Language 3 – Receiving Gifts A gift is tangible meaning or visual sign that you love and care about your spouse. A gift can also mean your presence is important especially at important times such as a birth of a child and may mean you might have to sacrifice some of your own desires. Find out specifically what makes your spouse feel happy.       Love Language 4 – Acts of Service Acts of services have to do with helping and doing things for your spouse. It means doing […]
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16Aug, 2018
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Could You Be As Nice As It Takes?

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In his book The 100/0 Principle, The Secret of Great Relationships ( 2010),  Al Ritter, the CFO of a Fortune 500 consumer goods company, quoted French writer Marcel Proust: “True discovery consists not in finding new landscapes, but in seeing the same landscape with new eyes.”  In The 100/0 Principle, Ritter relates a story about a relationship that his boss, the president of the company, asked him to create with a business acquaintance Ritter disliked intensely. He reported that initially he didn’t know what to do, but finally decided that […]
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12Aug, 2018
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The Seven Principle’s Couple Pogram

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Wow, it is Sunday night and I just completed teaching my first ever weekend Seven Principle’s couple program based on John Gottman’s book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Here were some of the comments about the training: “Enjoyed the creative add-on’s.” “Karen’s special touches were awesome.” “Your place (Karen’s office) is wonderful, nice and homey, very comfortable …warm and welcoming.” “I hope others take this program, it is quite enlightening for all ages…I could see every 5 years a refresher course.” “Even though we were friends coming in […]
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27Jul, 2018
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Relationships, Winston Churchill and John Gottman

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My husband and I recently took a day trip to Fulton, Mo to see The National Churchill Museum at Westminster College. It was a hot day, so being in an air-conditioned museum seemed like a good idea. Actually it was too cold inside, but we spent three hours learning about this extraordinary man.  Although Sir Winston Churchill was a prolific writer, I wasn’t thinking about him as having anything to say about couple relationships, as I was reading about his accomplishments and reviewing the famous Iron Curtain Speech that he […]
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21Jul, 2018
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Marital Communication – Part 4

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Love Language 2 – Quality Time The second love language Chapman describes in his book, “The Five Love Languages”  is quality time.  This means time spent focusing on your spouse, giving him or her your undivided attention, and doing meaningful things together.  Quality time spent with your spouse means building positive and beautiful memories together.   Quality time means finding out what activities he or she likes to do and doing those things together.  As Chapman states, it’s not so much what you do, rather it’s time together to show […]
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18Jul, 2018
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Adding 1 degree to your relationshp

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So, I am reading a book called 212 Degrees, written by Sam Parker and Mac Anderson, given to me, to my surprise, by Tom Hill (author of Chicken Soup of the Entreprenauer’s Soul and Living at the Summit, A Life Plan) at the Cottleville Chamber of Commerce luncheon during his inspirational talk, Tuesday, July 16. 212 Degrees is a short book about raising the temperature of water one degree. That one degree, the book explains, is the difference between something hot and something that can power a locomotive, steam. Interesting […]
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